you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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