he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
