I will die if light touches me.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Randomize
