ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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