if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
