i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
