Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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