Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
