So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
