That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
