I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize