So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
