So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
