Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
