The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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