Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
