didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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