How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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