Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
