A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
