Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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