the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
