I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
