It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
