They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize