So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize