its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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