how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
