Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
