well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
