Can Purell be used as lube?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The uberlube is also flammable
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
