she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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