I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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