how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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