Cold hands, warm shart.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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