so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
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