omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
