nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
