i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My ass is underappreciated
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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