I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
