How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
