ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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