Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
