who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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