I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
