life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
