I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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