3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
