operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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