dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
