i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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