I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
