Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
