Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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