Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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