Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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