Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
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