no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
