How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
