I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
love makes seman taste better
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
