her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize